City Lounge: London (Book Two, Chapter Fourteen: Camera Love)

Chapter Fourteen: Camera Love:

-Sophie-

When was the last time I held a camera? I sat in my room and stared at my first camera. It was like one of those toys that made the clicking noise, but took no pictures. Dad gave it to me for my fourth birthday. I don’t remember a day where that plastic red and yellow camera wasn’t with me. Mum would try and hide from me when I had it pointed at her. When I got older, the equipment got more advanced.

I had always loved taking pictures from when I was a little girl. Those cameras felt so good in my hands. A cell phone can’t match the feel of a classic camera. I don’t understand where that love went.

I am not happy with my job. I wanted to be a photographer, but life got in the why. Until this evening, I was okay with my life. But that was it. I was just okay. I didn’t have a strong love or hate for anything. Just make that money to pay my bills and be happy to be out of my mum’s house. But what do I have to show for it?

I picked up the last model of my camera. It hurts my heart to look at it in three pieces. My boyfriend before last one through it to a wall during an argument. I kicked him out and called him a monster. He tried to apologize and make it up to me, but I wouldn’t hear it.

“It’s just a stupid camera,” he said over the phone. After that, I never spoke to him again. My last boyfriend didn’t have a job and photography got pushed further to the back. I just haven’t picked up a camera since. Right now, I looked at my broken baby. Would it be too expensive to have it fixed? I took it to the shop a while back. The man there said it could be fixed, but it would be cheaper to buy a new one. I walked away despondent. The camera has sat upon my shelf ever since.

“Fix me! Please fix me!” it begs in my hand. Now, I want to do it so badly. I don’t want to just get a new camera for the heck of it. I loved this camera I owned. Film isn’t dead. Sure, I will dabble with digital cameras, but nothing will replace film.

I turned around when I heard my mobile ring.

“Hello?” I asked when I answered.

“Sophie, oh good. You’re in,” Carrie said on the other line.

“Carrie?” I asked. “What is it?”

“I’m bored,” she said. Of course you are. That’s only reason you would call me if it isn’t about your wedding.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Not much. What are you up to?”

“Not much. I found an old camera of mine.”

“You still take pictures?”

I lowered my eyes. Carrie was always excited when she saw me take out my camera. It broke her heart when I almost stop. I couldn’t help it; life got in the way. “I used to. But what’s been hell on me. I might get back into it.” I don’t know why I added that last part. It just jumped out. I had to hold the phone away from my ear as squealing came from the other line.

“Are you serious?” she asked. What have I done? I wasn’t thinking when I said that. But, Carrie gets like a little girl on Christmas when you tell her remotely good news. I have to smooth this over before it gets worse.

“I’m thinking about it,” I said. “Right now, my camera is still broken from when my ex threw it against the wall.”

“Can it be fixed?” Carrie asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “But I was told that it would be cheaper to replace it.”

“Are you going to replace it?”

“I don’t know. I probably should, but I am a bit close to this one.” I sighed as I looked down at the camera in my hand. Carrie whispered over the other line.

“I’m amazed,” she said.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“You haven’t been taking pictures in a long time, have you?”

I rubbed my forehead. “No. I haven’t, have I?”

“I miss your camera.”

When she said that, I felt like crying. When did I become like this? I used to have dreams and wide eyes for the future. Then life came along and say, “Ha-ha, no!” I was happier in college. I had my pictures, dreams, Paul, and his music. I didn’t have a boring job, this broken camera, and a string of failed relationships.

“Sophie, are you okay?” Carrie asked.

“Huh?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

“You sound like you’re crying,” she said.

“What?” I asked. I reached up and rubbed under my eye. My fingertips became slightly damp.

“I’m not crying!” I lied.

“So why are you sobbing?” Carrie asked.

“Shut up, Carrie!”

“I’m just saying.”

I puffed up my cheeks and frowned. “Anything else?”

“Oh, my photographer for my wedding canceled on me. My fiance and I have been looking for a new one, but the budgets tight and we don’t really know anyone as skilled as the guy we hired.”

I raised my eyebrow. “So what are you asking me?”

“Do you know anybody?”

“Oh.”

I narrowed my eyes. I had an idea of what she was getting at here. She’s trying really hard with me, isn’t she? “I don’t really have the time. Besides, you have me as a bridesmaid, remember?”

“Oh, I see. Just forget it.” Doesn’t she have to sound so disappointed in me? If I follow the script, I will end up saying yes and doing double duty at her wedding. As you can guess, that’s how I became a bridesmaid in the first place. I better stop this before it spirals to that point.

“I might take a couple of pictures for myself and send them to you when they are developed,” I said.

“You would really do that?!” Carrie asked. I held the phone away from my ear as I winced.

“I might do it,” I said. “We will have to see.”

“You are the best mate I could ever have!” she said. I stared at me mobile after she hung up. Oh boy… I looked at my poor, broken camera. I guess it couldn’t hurt to get a second opinion on getting it fixed. This wasn’t going to be for Carrie’s wedding, this was for me. And I’m not having it fixed right away. I just want to see if it’s possible to have it fixed or if I should go ahead and have it replaced.

I am really, really it won’t be the latter.

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