City Lounge: Berlin (Book Two, Chapter Eight: Sweet City in Berlin)

Chapter Eight: Sweet City in Berlin:

Sebastian and I have been on three dates now. He’s a really sweet guy. His wild nature kind of scared me at first. But, I am coming to accept that as part of who he is. Sebastian is really good to me. He doesn’t try to push me to be something that I am not. He’s even as patient with me. Everything has been going great. (I’m not sure when is the right time to call him my boyfriend or if he wants that yet.) Stephanie is also cheering us on.

“You two are so cute together,” she told me last week. I sat there at the table blushing.

However, I have hit a confusing path.

When is it the right time to have sex?

Stephanie was the one who brought it up last week. She looked at me with that cat-like grin of hers. I raised my eyebrow.

“What is it?” I asked. Stephanie leaned forward.

“Are you still a virgin?” she asked. I gave her a puzzled look.

“Why?” I asked. My crazy friend did her best to hold back a chuckle.

“You and Sebastian are going to fuck soon, right?” she asked. I spat out my tea all over of the table.

“What?!” I asked her with big eyes.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised,” Stephanie said. “We’re all adults here. Plus, we’re really close are you still a virgin?” I turned my head as my cheeks burned.

“I see!” she said. “So… when is it happening?”

“I don’t know! I haven’t even thought that far ahead! We’re not even official yet!”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “How many dates have you two been on now?”

“Three.”

“Have you kissed?”

“Yes.”

“Held hands?”

“Of course! We’re adults who have been on a dates. I’m not a child.”

“So… Are you waiting for him to be the one?”

“No!”

“Then what’s the hold up?”

I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t thought about waiting for the right one to come along and “take my flower” as my grandma would say it. I had been so busy trying to get to Germany that I didn’t think about my personal life. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know,” I said. “He hasn’t asked for it, I guess.” Stephanie raised her eyebrow.

“So you’re waiting on him to make the first move?” she asked.

“I guess…”

“Hm…”

“What?”

Stephanie shook her head. “Nothing, it’s just…”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” Ever since we had that conversation, I can’t get the thought of sex out of my mind. Sebastian is an attractive man. He wasn’t the type to sleep around with anyone.  Wait… did that mean he wanted to sleep with me? My heart jumped in my chest at the thought. I wouldn’t mind him being my first…

To be honest, my family didn’t talk much about sex. My grandmother had her wild days in her youth from what I had the misfortune of hearing. (Nobody wants to think about their grandparents having sex.) No, my parents saw me as the good girl. They didn’t worry about me smoking, drinking, sleeping around, or doing drugs. I just went to school, did my homework, and club activities.

I froze as I stood in the shower. Come to think about, I have always played it safe. I didn’t have a real exciting story about my life to tell. (Sure, there were the standard family vacations, but that was about it.) I came to Berlin for a new life and so far nothing had changed. I put my hands on my arms as I stood under the warm water. I closed my eyes and began to picture Sebastian holding me from behind. His embrace made me feel more vulnerable. I often wondered if he would be so gentle in bed. His fingers through my hair. His hot breath against my skin. I don’t think I have ever felt this way about anyone before in my life. Now that I think about it, I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Neither one of us ever brought up the topic of a sexual relationship. Sebastian didn’t try to push me as I stated before. And I hadn’t thought about it until now.

I leaned back against the shower wall and sighed.

Maybe I should be the one who takes the first step. But how would I do that? He’s been the one to hold my hand and kiss me. I can’t just come out and asked him for sex. That would be too weird. I rubbed my forehead and started screaming. Why isn’t there a book on this sort of stuff that actually works? I dropped my hand and looked up at the ceiling. I guess I’ll try to slip it in in some way? How would that even work out? I can’t ask Stephanie either because she’d make it worse.

Calm down and take a breath. I closed my eyes and took in another slow breath. Alright. I’m still stuck though.

My phone started ringing as soon as I stepped out of the shower.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hello, Em,” a man’s voice said on the other line. My heart stopped before it started pounding.

“Sebastian!” I yelped.

“How are you doing tonight?” he asked.

“Good,” I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. “I just got out of the shower, actually.”

“I see,” he said. “I just got home from work myself.”

“Okay.” I don’t know exactly what happened in the next moment or what made me say this. But, I put my hand to my chest.

“I want you to be my first!” I blurted out. My whole face turned red by the time I realized what I said. But I said it so fast, maybe he didn’t catch that.

“What did you say?” Sebastian asked.

“I want you to be my first,” I repeated in a toned down voice. “But… not now. When I’m ready, okay?” There, it was out now. I bit on my lower lip as I waited.

“Alright,” Sebastian said. My heart felt like is going to pound out my chest.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “I will sleep with you whenever you want me to.” I gulped as I slowly nodded.

“Okay… Thanks, I guess,” I said. “Hey, would you mind staying on the phone with me for a while? We don’t have to talk about much if you don’t want to.”

“Sure,” he said. I sank down on my bed with a smile on my face.

“Thanks, honey,” I said.  I don’t remember what we talked about or how long we were on the phone, but my mind started to go back to some rather steamy scenarios with Sebastian as he spoke. I was hot and red all over by the time we hung up.

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