City Lounge: Paris (Book Two, Chapter Thirteen: Sympathy)

Chapter Thirteen: Sympathy:

My sad miserable work day ends the same. Simone waited outside of the Wings International for me like she had been doing lately. (I stopped questioning that about a week ago. It’s just one of the things I have to accept.) I rested my head on her shoulder.

“Take me home,” I pleaded. Simone patted me on the head.

“Aw,” she said. I don’t want to talk about my ex to my potential girlfriend. I feel that there is some etiquette about when you can talk about your ex. I don’t want to sound hung up on Paula. I mean, I’m not. It just doesn’t help that we work together.

“Are there any other jobs where Americans can work and I can still stay here?” I asked. Simone asked me a question that gave me pause.

“Is it your job you and want to get away from or her?” she asked. I looked at her with big eyes. I hadn’t thought about that before. To be honest, I didn’t want to come to Paris. It was all Paula’s idea. She had loved Paris since she was a little girl. Throughout high school, my ex talked about how she would go to Paris someday. I just smiled and waved her off.

“Whatever you say,” I told her. It all sounded like child-like dreams to me. That was until we graduated from college.  Paula announced just before we went back home that she got a job at Wings International at their Paris branch. At first, I was understandably stunned.

“When did this happen?” I asked.

“Before we took our final exams,” she said. “I just got accepted.” I stared at her, wide-eyed. It had all been talk until then. Suddenly, the sinking fear of losing her again began to sink in. I had worked so hard to get her to be my girlfriend throughout high school and college. She finally gave in during our senior year and now I was losing her again. I guess out of desperation, I applied for Wings International. To my surprise by some miracle, I got the job. Today, I thought about that question as Simone and I walked down the street.

“I don’t really know, now that I think about it,” I said. “I took the job because I didn’t want to lose her. Now, I don’t know why I hang on. I would leave if I can find a job that will let me stay in the country.”

“What other skills do you have?” Simone asked.

“Other than cooking, I can’t do anything else.”

“So why do you stay?”

“I don’t really know.” We watched as little children were playing around in the streets. I had begun to see the streets of Paris in a new light. When I was with Paula, my eyes only stayed on her, trying to stay by her side. She didn’t have a wandering eye or so I believed. I should’ve known.

“Which place are we going to today– yours or mine?” I asked.

“Up to you,” Simone said. That’s the promise about Simone that has me on edge. She’s leaving me to the one in control sometimes. I just followed Paula’s lead in America and here in Paris. She practically did everything for me. I seemed to have forgotten how to be independent. Simone seems to show me how to do things for myself again. It scared me, but yet it excited me at the same time.

“Can we just do nothing for the rest up the night?” I asked as we rounded another corner. Simone patted me on the head as she smiled.

“If that will help,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said. We ended up going back to my place. I already know how this is going to play out. A light dinner, talking about nothing, and then up to my room. It all followed as planned. She lay down on the bed tonight. I lay down on top of hers with my head to her breasts. I didn’t feel doing much tonight. I sighed with my cheek to her chest.

“If you are going to make me forget about her, I wish you could do it faster,” I complained. “I don’t know how much more I can take.” I didn’t like talking about Paula with my potential girlfriend. It just felt rude and it made me sound hung up on her. The least that I could do was not say my ex’s name. (Simone said that it was forbidden anyway.) The Indigo queen rested her hand on my head.

“This type of thing doesn’t happen right away,” she said. “It takes time.” I glanced up at her.

“But you can do it, right?” I asked. “I am getting better, but I have to go to work and I see her again. I would get another job, but I can’t do anything else.” Simone turned her face towards me.

“I can,” she said. “You have to believe in me.” Something about her words made discontent settle down. I still couldn’t bring myself to complain about Paula to Simone. It’s not to go on and on about your ex to someone that you’re supposed to be dating. It’s not cool. I decided that it would be best to not to start going on and on about Paula. Instead, I leaned up and kissed Simone on the lips. She put her arm around my back. This was all that I knew how to do to stop myself. I didn’t want to chase Simone away with stupid mistakes. She was an amazing woman and I wanted her to stay. I guess that was the problem with me. I guess the fact that I was so desperate to keep Paula by my side should have been a red flag in the first place.

My train of thought stopped cold when Simone flipped me onto my back. My lips trembled as I looked into her deep brown eyes.

“Oh, I’m not in the mood,” I said.

“I know,” she said. That seductive witch rested her head on my chest. I didn’t have to say anything as I figured out what she was doing. I rested my hand on her back and kissed her on the top of my head. I closed my eyes and went to sleep like that. I guess this would have to do for now.

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